Signs You’re Living Through Your Kids

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Posted: Thursday, August 1, 2013 10:25 am | Updated: 10:39 am, Thu Aug 1, 2013.

It’s great to get your kids involved in sports, clubs, or other extracurricular activities.

but make sure you’re doing it for the right reason.

A recent dutch study found many parents do try to live out their dreams through their children.

Scott Bea, Psy.D. of Cleveland Clinic said, “So there’s this combination of seeing the kids as part of you and having this upset in your own life, in your personal life where you have lost dreams, that you may indeed unknowingly, unconsciously pushing your children to live out your own dreams.“

Utrecht University researchers, in the Netherlands, looked at 73 parents of children aged 8 to 15. Researchers say the more a mother or father sees the child as part of themselves, the more likely they are to want the child to succeed in making the parent’s dream come true.

“You don’t want to too hard or impose something that is personal to you." Said Dr. Bea, "You might even think are there lost dreams that I have? And you might try to stay away from those or pushing your kids in that direction.”

Dr. Bea said it’s important that the child is taking part in an activity because he or she wants to do it, and he says it’s critical parents watch for the signs that they may be living through their kids.

“I remember handing my daughters hockey sticks, and at that point I thought “Geez, maybe I’m trying to live through my kids.” He said, "So, when things are incongruous like that, most young daughters aren’t really that interested in hockey, if you see something that doesn’t quite fit like that- that might be a sign.”

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